Tyler Perry’s Lesson in Forgiveness and Abundance

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Edward Mills

Terry Gross interviewed Tyler Perry on Fresh Air a few weeks ago. I almost changed the station since I didn’t have a strong connection with Tyler other than knowing that he put his name on all of his movies and – to be quite honest – imagining that he must be fairly egotistical to do that.

Tyler Perry But something about their conversation hooked me and I listened to it all. It turns out that Tyler is an incredibly articulate and thoughtful person and he shared a story that beautifully expresses the connection between our inner and outer worlds.

You’ve likely heard the phrase “get the inside right and the outside will follow.” The idea is that our inner landscape is reflected in the world we see around us. So if we want to change the outer world we need to begin by changing our inner world. The story Tyler shared is one of the most powerful examples of that concept that I have heard.

Tyler launched his career in 1993 with a stage show that he self financed. It bombed! He lost everything. Fortunately someone in the audience loved the show so much they invested in him so he could do it again. Next time… it bombed again. Over and over he showed up and over and over again the performance tanked.

Then, in 1998, it became a huge hit, an “overnight success,” selling out multiple shows.

What happened? What was different?

On the outside, nothing was different. He had made minor changes to the script but nothing big enough to explain the difference.

Could it have just been persistence? Or maybe something shifted in his chart that opened the way to success!

Perhaps.

But there was another factor at work. During those 6-years of “failure” Tyler had been working on his inner world.

The show was about the power of faith in overcoming old wounds including child abuse. It was based on Tyler’s own experience growing up with an abusive father. But even though there was forgiveness and redemption in the play, during those first few years, Tyler had not found that forgiveness in his own life.

Here’s a quote from Tyler:

“I think that’s why the show wasn’t doing well up until ’98, because I hadn’t forgiven [my father] up until that time. There was so much anger and frustration, and I was self-sabotaging so many things without even knowing it because I hadn’t let that go. But once I learned that, [I was] free to go on.”

Tyler goes on to say, “It’s simple: when you haven’t forgiven those who’ve hurt you, you turn your back against your future. When you do forgive, you start walking forward.”

From 1993 – 1998 Tyler had been producing that show with anger, resentment and hatred in his body, mind, heart and soul. The results of the show reflected his inner world. But as soon as he found his way to a place of forgiveness the energy of peace and love from within fueled the success of the show in the outer world.

Now, it’s safe to say that the forgiveness Tyler Perry found has fueled a lot more success. His movies, books and plays have touched the lives of millions of people. Using humor and caricatures he has addressed themes that are often difficult but important for us to look at.

And his work has also become a source of great personal abundance as well with Tyler now one of the highest paid people in the entertainment industry.

Tyler did the work to “get the inside right” and the outside certainly followed.

Where in your life are you feeling stuck? If there is something in your outer world that seems difficult or frustrating or challenging it may be time to shift your focus from the external experience and put some attention on your inner world.

Perhaps if you get the inside right the outside will follow easily and gracefully.

I’d love to hear your stories about the times when you have gotten the inside right and watched the outside follow. Leave a comment below!

Jack Canfield is Wrong: “So What” Doesn’t Work

Posted on July 24, 2012 by Edward Mills

There’s a lot that Jack Canfield does right. But there’s one thing he said in the movie The Secret that has been bugging me ever since I first saw it back in 2006.

Do you remember when he said this?

“… most psychologists believe that about 85% of families are dysfunctional, so it’s like, all of a sudden you’re not so unique. My parents were alcoholics. My dad abused me, my mother divorced him when I was six… I mean, that’s almost everybody’s story in some form or not. So that’s just called, ‘So what’.”

It’s that “So What” that bugs me.

Maybe so what worked for Jack… and maybe it works for some people. It hasn’t worked for me… I tried getting “So What” to work for about 20-years: Never did.

Now maybe I was just too messed up… or maybe I just wasn’t ready to let go of my wounding… maybe I was one of those victims Jack was talking about when he said: “You know, a lot of people feel like they’re victims in life, and they’ll often point to past events, perhaps growing up with an abusive parent or in a dysfunctional family.”

Could be. I’m willing to accept that there may be some truth to that.

And… I’m also clear that “So What” was NOT an effective path to wholeness for me. And, from what I can tell, it’s not an effective path for a lot of people including most of the people I’ve coached and guided through courses and retreats.

It took me a long time to let go of “so what” and look for another path, another way out of the cycle of wounding that held me back and holds so many Modern Day Mystics back from creating lives of True Abundance.

A new path appeared for me when I started working with a Somatic Experiencing practitioner. The doorway to a new possibility opened when she saw and acknowledged and reflected back to me the depth of the pain I was holding in the cells of my body.

She could tell by the way my body moved when I entered the “trauma vortex” that my trauma was early, birth and even pre-birth. She was able to see and clearly and compassionately reflect what I had been holding in my body all my life.

My “story,” as Jack would call it, is about adoption . It’s a story that doesn’t lend itself to being a victim because the trauma is pre-verbal, pre-cognition. There is no abuse involved and looking in from the outside there doesn’t seem to be much trauma at all. In some ways you could call it a “silent trauma.”

Try explaining to someone who has not been adopted that being separated from your mother at birth feels akin to death – your death and the death of the one person in your life that you need, in that moment, more than anything – and that the memory of that “death” is encoded in the cells of your body. Most people will nod their heads and say, “that’s interesting.”

So I tried, for most of my life, to get to that place of “So What” since that’s what the world seemed to be reflecting back to me. So What, Edward. Get over it and get on with your life.

Well intentioned advice that completely missed the target.

“So What” wasn’t what I needed. It didn’t help me.

Working with the SE practitioner I finally understood what I needed and what would have helped me. And maybe hearing this – even though the specifics might not be the same – will help you!

If I could go back to my younger self, when I first began my journey of self-discovery, knowing what I know now, here is what I would say:

“Wow Edward, I can see how deeply the adoption experience impacted you. You hold a profound pain inside of you that most likely will never completely go away. It must have been so painful to have your mother let you go at the moment of your birth. I can sense the deep emotions, the grief, anger, terror and helplessness that you’re holding in the cells of your body.

“You will always carry the memory of that experience in your body.

“But you know what else? You can learn to let go of the pain and release those deep emotions so that the experience doesn’t control you. You can acknowledge it. You can learn to accept it as a part of who you are. In time you may even come to appreciate it for the role it has played in shaping you into who you are and who you are becoming.

“And when you do that, Edward, when you acknowledge, accept and even appreciate the experience it will no longer have power over you. It will no longer control your thoughts and actions from the shadows.

“This experience has defined you but it has done so on a subconscious level. Now you get to choose to bring this experience into your conscious exploration of who you want to become. How will you choose to interact with this trauma. How will you choose to let it activate you, open you, awaken you, catalyze you to create something and share the unique wisdom and insights that you carry because of it? That is your choice and that is the path you must walk.”

Now I hope you can see that this is not meant to give any of us license to be a victim or to get stuck in our woundedness. Rather it is an invitation to be deeply witnessed in your wholeness… and your wholeness includes the wounds and past traumas that you carry.

When you are witnessed in those places, when you allow yourself to be seen and accepted in your wholeness you can begin to reclaim the power from the wounded places and bring that power into the light, into your life… and into the world!

So consider this article my way of acknowledging you, of witnessing you in your wholeness, of honoring the pain you carry from whatever traumas you have experienced in the past and of inviting you to bring your power into the world!

I’m Making Up A Story That…

Posted on November 14, 2011 by Edward Mills

On Thursday and Friday of last week I had the privilege of interviewing some of the most successful conscious entrepreneurs in the world. It was part of the Shift Network’s Enlightened Business Summit. Earlier in the week, Chip Conley, the founder of Joie de Vivre Hospitality, interviewed many of the most successful conscious business people on the topic of Emotional Fluency.

It was an incredible week of insights and aha moments. And the most amazing thing for me was to see how much of the information being shared by these high level business executives, authors and experts in the field of Emotional Intelligence could be applied to areas other than business!

Fyi: If you haven’t had a chance to listen, the replays are available through the end of the week.

One of the biggest “AHA” moments for me was during Chip’s interview with Café Gratitude founders Terces and Matthew Englehart, authors of the book, Sacred Commerce. At one point Matthew was sharing one of the communications techniques they use in the restaurants when there is a conflict or tension between employees.

As the two, or more, employees share what they are thinking they begin with the phrase, “I’m making up a story that…”

It is such a simple technique and yet the power in those 6 words is incredible.

Think about it: How many times have you made up a story in your head about someone or a situation that ended up having absolutely no connection to reality?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably done it once or twice… or maybe like a few thousand times!

This technique struck me as such a powerful way to diffuse the charge that builds up when our minds start spinning out in a direction that usually is not based on anything other than a limiting belief.

I know that I make up stories all the time about being abandoned. That’s my “core wound.” And it’s very easy for me to spin out into a detailed storyline about how I’m being abandoned by my partner whenever she does something that activates that wound in me.

Since hearing that interview last week, I’ve made a commitment to myself to use the phrase, “I’m making up a story that you’re pulling away”… or “you’re getting ready to leave”… or, well you get it.

Using that phrase does two very important things:

First, for my partner, it lets her know I’m aware that I’m speaking from the wounded place in me and that I’m not saying this story is true and I’m not saying that she’s doing anything wrong. When I speak from that place it allows her to hear me without going into defensiveness.

Second, for me, it immediately diffuses some of the charge around the story. By using those words I’m letting myself know that it’s just a story. As with most stories, there may be an element of truth to it, but it is not the whole TRUTH. And when I’m able to take that step back from seeing the story as TRUTH I am more able to listen to and really hear my partner’s experience – even if something she says seems to confirm my belief in the story – and feel her love and our connection.

It is a powerful technique that can be put into use in all relationships, work, romance, friends, family. And it’s a tool you can use on your own.

Again, if you’re like me, you’ve got an imagination that loves creating stories. The next time you catch your mind going into that cycle see if you can stop yourself and say, “I’m making up a story that…” You might find that just recognizing that you are creating a story will help you come back to the TRUTH.

Try it out today and let me know what happens. I’d love to hear your experience with it.

The Secret to Controlling the Weather

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Edward Mills

He stood on the outcropping overlooking the drought-stricken valley below. Crops were withering from the heat and lack of rain. He could smell the smoke from the not too distant fires burning their way through the dry forests and fields.

He stood, feeling the fear of his people, the pain of the farmers, the hunger of the children. He let this fear, pain and hunger flow into his awareness, fill him up, take him over. He allowed the memories of past droughts and the grief they left in their path swallow him. He let the fear, pain and sadness of his people awaken the places of fear, pain and sadness within himself.

He focused on the sadness: Of the mothers who could not feed their children, the farmers who could not provide for their families and communities. He let this sadness grow inside. He let himself open to the cleansing that needed to move through him.

Soon the tears began to flow, just a trickle at first as he opened his heart fully to the sadness and welcomed in the cleansing. And as the tears began to flow, those watching from below saw clouds begin to gather. Slowly at first, then more rapidly, the blue sky turned grey. Darker and darker the sky became until a shout was heard, “Rain!”

Soon others joined in, shouting with joy and gratitude as they, too, felt the drops of rain beginning to bring their cleansing, regenerative power to the land.

Before long, the people in the valley below could no longer see the Rainmaker standing above. He was lost in the rain and clouds. But still, he stood, finding the places within himself that needed to be cleansed, opening himself up to those places where sadness and grief lived within himself so that he could call forth the cleansing rains and bring healing and hope to the land and to the people.

Scientists have told us that it’s impossible to control the weather. There are too many factors and variables. But for millenia, the mystics and shaman of many traditions have demonstrated that it is possible to influence the weather.

Possible. Not possible. Who can really say. All I know is that there sure seems to be a correlation between my emotional state and the weather. Now there is the chicken and egg question that can be asked here: Which comes first, the rain to help remind me that there is some place inside me that needs cleansing or the places inside me that need the cleansing?

It doesn’t really matter, although I admit it can be fun to imagine that my emotional state influences the weather!

What matters to me is that I don’t just dismiss the weather as an unrelated external factor. II believe there IS a connection between what is happening inside of me – and YOU – and what is happening in the world around me, including the weather.

We are all interconnected. You’ve heard the phrase “as above so below” or “get the inside right and the outside follows.” Our inner world and the external world that we see and experience are intimately connected. So whether or not my internal state has an impact on the weather, I have begun looking at the weather as more than a random external circumstance. Instead, look at the weather as a literal barometer and reflection of something inside of me.

For instance, this morning I woke up to a dense fog. Instead of moaning and complaining, I asked myself, what is this fog here to remind me?

The answer came back immediately: “You don’t need to know the outcome, just take the next step.”

So often I find myself wanting to know the outcome, the final destination. I want to be able to see where the path in front of me is leading. There is definitely a bit of that happening in my life right now. Lots of changes and unknown variables have left me feeling a bit off balance and uncertain about how to proceed. In fact, I had a difficult time falling asleep last night because my mind was so busy trying to figure out all the possible permutations and twists and turns in the road in front of me.

This morning, the fog reminded me, in very clear terms that I don’t need to know what happens beyond today, or even what happens beyond this very moment. I don’t need to see where the path I’m on is leading.

I only need to take the next step. And when I take that next step, the step after it will become clear. If I just continue taking one step at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, I know that I’ll get to where I’m going… even if I don’t know where that is!

So, if you woke up to fog this morning, let go of the need to know where Life is leading you and ask yourself what the very next step is that you can take in this moment.

If you woke up to rain, ask yourself what places inside of you could use a little cleansing.

And if you woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning, enjoy the vista, know that you are in a place where you CAN see the possibilities and potential that awaits you as you move forward. But remember, you still have to take that next step… and the one after that… in order to get to where this incredible Life is leading you.

And remember, it really IS possible that YOU are controlling the weather!

Don’t forget to leave a comment below. I’d love to hear about your experiences of controlling the weather!

You Are NOT Alone!

Posted on October 13, 2011 by Edward Mills

Have you ever felt alone?

If you’re like most of us, the answer to that question is a resounding YES!

How about when…

the teacher called on you in school and you didn’t know the answer?
or coming home to an empty house after a breakup?
or someone you love has passed on?
or a friend is late (or forgets about) a meeting?
or someone you love forgets your birthday?

Sometimes, even standing in the checkout line at the grocery store, surrounded by hundreds of people, a feeling of aloneness can creep in and we find ourselves retreating further into the perception that we are alone.

To some extent we all feel this aloneness and it impacts every aspect of our lives.

Eckhart Tolle speaks of Alienation, which the dictionary defines as: Isolation from a group or an activity to which one should belong or in which one should be involved.

He writes:

“Most people are alienated from who they are… Alienation means that you don’t feel at ease in any situation, any place, or with any person, not even with yourself. You are always trying to get “home” but never feel at home.”

I can relate to feeling ill at ease. Here’s one of the strange ways that feeling has shown up in my life. You know those signs in some stores that say, “Please check your bags at the counter?” For many years, I felt so out of place in this world that if a store didn’t have a bag check I would ask if I could leave my bag at the counter anyway. If they said “No,” and I had to walk around the store with my backpack, I would feel paranoid the entire time that they thought I was going to steal something. And no, I don’t have kleptomaniac tendencies!

It was just one of the quirky ways that my sense of alienation manifested.

Now, obviously that particular expression of alienation didn’t have a huge negative impact on my life. But when that deep feeling of not belonging in the world showed up in my relationships, it did!

Because I believed, so deeply, that I am alone, I acted in ways that helped prove that belief. I kept people at a distance. I pushed people who loved me away. I resisted deep connections and intimacy.

Not the most effective and enjoyable way to live!

And while I have gotten MUCH better at opening up to people and loving them and allowing them to love me, I still do catch myself, from time to time, acting from the belief that I am alone.

Now, when I notice myself pushing someone away or holding myself back from a connection, I stop and remember that it’s the perfect time to love myself and feel into the truth that I am deeply and intimately connected with all that is.

Remember that “Contrast” – the things in our lives that we don’t necessarily like – shows up to point out something obvious that we’re forgetting. When I catch myself relating to someone else in an unloving way, it’s time for me to stop and find the place inside myself that feels unloved or unlovable.

The more I do that, the more open I become to truly deep, intimate, loving connections with others… as well as with myself and, most important, with Source or God.

So the next time you feel alone or you catch yourself pushing someone away, I encourage you to take a moment to stop and find the place inside you that is asking for love, that is asking to be welcomed home.

The more that you can remember your connection to all that is the more you’ll shift that feeling of Aloneness to ALLOne Ness!

Stop waiting for your starring role

Posted on September 8, 2011 by Edward Mills

Do you want to make a difference in the world? Do you want to be a catalyst for positive change?

The desire to contribute to the highest good of all is strong in most modern day mystics. We see the problems in the world. We feel the pain and suffering of those around us as well as those far away. We resonate with the Earth as she experiences the sometimes devastating changes that our actions create.

In the face of such seemingly overwhelming “problems” the desire to make massive, positive changes can be quite strong. We want to make a difference. But not just a little difference… we want to make a BIG one!

Ironically, it is that very desire to make a BIG difference that paralyzes so many modern day mystics! We wait until the moment when everything feels right and our ducks are all in a row and the guidance or inspiration for action comes and we KNOW that we’re going to make that BIG difference.

But when will everything be just right? When will we feel strong enough, healed enough, focused enough, enlightened enough to make a difference that is big enough? We won’t. Which is why starting NOW is so important.

Have you ever acted in a play? I acted in high school and again after college in several community theater performances. And even at that level it was interesting to observe how we all wanted the starring role!

Let’s face it, most actors dream of being the “star.” Very few people go into an acting career with a vision of making a career as a “walk on” or even a supporting actor for that matter. They want to see their name in lights and be listed first in the credits. That’s a great dream!

But, more often than not, they WON’T get a starring role. It’s just a numbers game: Think about how many starring roles there are versus how many aspiring actors there are! There just aren’t enough opportunities for everyone to be the star – at least in Hollywood!

And while it can be a bit romantic to imagine that the big stars we see on screen were “discovered” the truth is that most of the big name actors have worked their butts off getting whatever parts they can and showing up fully in the best and biggest way they know how… even for those small and in some cases insignificant roles. They knew that the more fully they showed up for the small parts the more likely it is that they would get noticed and get invited to audition for a larger part next time.

Eventually, if they keep showing up and keep playing those supporting roles in the biggest and best way they know how, they MIGHT get one of those starring roles they’ve dreamed up.

Life is like that. Most of us want to be the star. We want to play a big, important part in this performance that we call life. But the truth is that if you look at our “roles” through our cultural lens of importance, there are very few “starring” roles.

On the other hand, if you look at your “roles” in terms of what really makes a difference, you have the potential to be in a starring role all the time! In fact, no one else in the world, no one else in all of time and space, can play the part that you have been assigned. No one else has the same unique mix of qualities, insights, talents, skills, experiences, and gifts. Only you can be the star in the part you have come here to play.

That part is yours and yours alone. And whether our culture sees it as a “starring” role or a supporting role doesn’t matter. Because, in the end, you ARE the star of YOUR life and you have absolutely no idea how the role you play is going to impact the course of this world.

Native Americans tell us that our actions impact the next seven generations. Can you see seven generations from now? Can you know the potential power of your actions as their impact, like the ripples from a pebble thrown in a pond, grows and spreads out through those next seven generations? Probably not!

What if a simple smile that you share with someone changes the course of their life? What if you smiled at a young man walking down the street, not knowing that he was feeling down, despairing, confused and uncertain what to do next? And what if your smile, for whatever reason, gave him hope? What if that was exactly what he needed to take his next step and enroll in college and get his science degree? And what if he goes on to a PhD program and becomes a core member of the team that discovers the cure for cancer?

And what if you will NEVER (in this lifetime) know that you were the one who gave him the strength and courage to take that next step.

We can never know the impact of our actions. A friend of mine, Liz, recently celebrated her birthday with a Purification Lodge Ceremony. While the fire was heating the stone people, I was talking with one of her friends who had been a student of mine seven or eight years ago. As we talked, she reminded me that she and Liz had actually met at that class and have since become close friends. And she told me that what she had learned in that class continued to influence her work and life and that it had been a key factor in her decision to enroll in a master’s program in transpersonal psychology.

It was eye-opening for me to hear. I had quite literally forgotten about that course and it made me realize just how easy it is to underestimate and even disregard the impact of our actions.

Look, life doesn’t care if you are the star! The truth is, to Life you ARE the star in each and every moment… no matter what you are doing!

The point is, don’t wait for your “starring” role since it might never come. Jump in and give all you’ve got to whatever role you are playing right now. This IS your starring role! The part you play in this life, whether large or small, is absolutely needed. You hold a piece of the puzzle that no one else does. Don’t wait. Don’t squander your time here waiting for the call to come. Get out there and make yourself count no matter how small or insignificant you feel your part is.

You Can’t Find What You Already Are

Posted on August 17, 2011 by Edward Mills

There I was, looking for my glasses. I knew they were around since I had definitely taken them off in that room. At least I thought I had. But the more I looked, the more I began doubting and questioning. Maybe I had left them in the bathroom. So I went and checked there. Nope.

Are you groaning now, waiting for the punchline that I found them on the top of my head?

Well I’ve done that with sunglasses, but in this case it was actually much more ludicrous than that. I suddenly started hearing the song, “I can see clearly now…” And it dawned on me to wonder how I’m able to actually look for my glasses without needing to squint and bend down close to the places where I’m looking.

D’Oh! I’m wearing my glasses.

That’s a true story. It’s happened to me more than once, fortunately, not in quite a while!

It really does happen. If you wear glasses it’s probably happened to you once or twice!

It comes down to belief. In that moment, when I was searching for the glasses that were actually on my face, somehow the belief that I have misplaced my glasses is strong enough to make me overlook the reality that I can actually see – which means that what I’m looking for is actually right here.

Beliefs are extremely powerful, so powerful that they have the capacity to obscure and distort our “reality.” By now I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the indigenous people who were unable to “see” the three-masted schooners anchored in the bay. The possibility of that type of vessel existing was so far outside their belief system that reality actually distorted to make those ships invisible to them.

It was not until the Shaman of the tribe had meditated and done ceremony to expand his belief system and open up his vision to that possibility that the other members of the tribe were able to see the ships.

True Abundance is like that. You ARE True Abundance. That is your nature. It is all around you. It is within you. It is the very essence of who you are. But the belief that you are NOT True Abundance has you convinced that you have to go find it. So you look around, always looking, always seeking, never realizing that what you seek is actually right here, right now, within you.

That which you seek – Abundance, Joy, Love – is what you truly are. It is not out there somewhere for you to find. It is your essence.

You don’t find TRUE Abundance. You ARE TRUE Abundance. Rather, you remember it. Just as I didn’t “find” the glasses I was seeking, I came to realize or remember that I was actually wearing them, you can’t find what you are, you can only realize and remember it.

Take a moment to let go of the belief that abundance is something ‘Out There.” Let go of the idea that Abundance is something you attain. Open to the truth that abundance is something you ARE, right now. Yes, even in this moment. Even with your fears and doubts and worries, abundance is here, right now. Breathe it in.

Stepping into TRUE Abundance is as easy as “finding” the glasses that you’re already wearing. It is as simple as letting go of the belief that has you convinced that you can’t “see.” You can see. You can feel. You can KNOW and experience TRUE Abundance right now. All you have to do is believe. All you have to do is trust… All you have to do is remember that you are already “wearing” abundance.

Stop looking for it and start LIVING it. Start living as if you can see the abundance all around you. Start living as if you feel the abundance flowing through you. Start living as if you can recognize the abundance in every situation and all the people who come into your life. Start living as if there is nothing but abundance. For abundance is truly all there is. And you are truly abundant.

You are already wearing the glasses you seek. The lens of abundance is already in you. It IS you. Now go out and live your life of TRUE Abundance!

Your partner in TRUE Abundance

Edward

Lower Your Standards!

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Edward Mills

There’s a great story about the poet and teacher William Stafford. He’s recognized as one of the most prolific poets of recent times and during the last twenty or more years of his life he wrote at least one poem every day.

Yes… that’s one poem EVERY DAY!

And, much to the dismay of his poetry students at Lewis and Clark University, he assigned them the same “homework:” One poem a day for the entire semester!

I can just imagine the groans and complaints that followed that announcement. But when the students asked how it could be done, he replied simply, “Lower your standards.”

Perfection is An Abundance Killer!

Perfection is one of the most effective abundance killers! I should know, I’m a recovering perfectionist and I can look back and see all of the times that I have let my desire to be “perfect” get in the way of abundance.

When perfectionism takes over, nothing you do or create can ever be good enough. And if you don’t believe that anything you do or create is good enough it’s going to be awfully difficult to feel excited about sharing what you do with others.

And isn’t that what abundance is all about? In order to receive abundantly, you MUST be willing to share abundantly. Perfectionism breaks that cycle before you can even begin sharing! Not a great way to start your journey to TRUE Abundance

When I first heard that story about William Stafford, many years ago, I thought he must have been crazy! “Lower my standards?”

The thought of lowering my standards flies in the very face of my beloved and comfortable perfectionism. If I’m going to put something out in the world it had better be perfect. And, as far as my inner perfectionist is concerned, nothing will ever be perfect!

But see, there’s a key component to Stafford’s assignment that my inner perfectionist doesn’t quite get. Stafford never told his students to publish a poem a day. He told them only to write a poem a day, which is exactly what he did.

Crappy Is Good!

I bet if we could see some of his daily poems – the ones that did not get published – we would agree that many of them, perhaps most, were not so good. Some of them were probably pretty crappy! And I’m sure he’d agree with us as well.

But when you write a poem a day, you’ve got a lot to choose from. And out of those daily poems he found enough good ones to publish more than 50 books, one of which – Traveling Through the Dark – won the National Book Award for poetry. He was also awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship, a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship and held the post which is now called the Poet Laureate of the United States.

Clearly there’s something to this idea of “lowering your standards.”

Would you like to know how many “unfinished” essays, stories, newsletter articles, course outlines and book chapters I have stashed away on my hard drive? I bet you would! But I’m not going to tell you! Suffice it to say that by lowering my standards, not a whole heck of a lot, I’d have a lot more stuff out in the world.

And what if someone, just one person, happened to read one of those “extra” blog posts or newsletter articles? And what if that article was exactly the thing she needed to hear at that moment? What if lowering my standards helped to change her life for the better?

Is it worth it? Is it worth the risk that I might publish a crappy article every now and then? Is the possibility of being of service to more people worth lowering my standards? You bet it is!

Are You Ready for What God Sends YOU?

And what about you? What “articles” do you have sitting on your hard drive? What creation of yours is waiting to see the light of day because it is not yet “perfect?” What if you lowered your standards? Just a tiny bit. Just enough to finish it and get it out into the world.

Here’s my hope and my challenge to you: Can you lower your standards? Just a bit? Can you look through your hard drive, or your closet or workshop? Can you dust off your chisels or brushes, get out your business plan or novel and reawaken your creative dreams? Can you lower your standards just enough to get those creations, those ideas, those dreams that are waiting inside of you, out into the light?

If you find yourself stuck in the process, wondering if it’s perfect enough, remember this line from the last poem William Stafford wrote on August 28, 1993, the day that he died:

“Be ready for what God sends.”

Indeed, be ready for what god sends, and be willing to let it come through you and out into the light.

I look forward to seeing more of your creations out in the world!

Law Of Attraction Lessons The Blackberry Bramble Taught Me

Posted on July 27, 2011 by Edward Mills

The blackberry bramble in our backyard is bursting with beautiful, shiny, berries. They are hanging there, within easy reach, ripe and ready to fall off into your fingers at the slightest tug and melt in your mouth with the sweet juicy yumminess that comes at this time of year. My daughter and I have been watching the berries ripen slowly over the last few weeks. And lately, we’ve been going out there almost every evening to pick some “best ones” as Ella calls them, to put into our yogurt.

Last night she got a scratch as she was reaching for one of those “best ones.” When she said, “Ouch, I got a scratch Dada.” I said, “Yes, that sometimes happens when you’re reaching for the one you really want.”

And as I said it I realized that this entire process of watching and waiting for the berries to ripen has been filled with powerful Law of Attraction lessons.

So in no particular order here are a few of the Law of Attraction Lessons the Blackberry Bramble has taught me:

1. Desires need time to ripen just like blackberries. Whenever you set an intention, there will be a period of growing and ripening. Patience is required during this time. If you pick a blackberry before it is ripe, the tartness or even bitterness fills your mouth. This can be an extra big shock for a mouth expecting the sweet juicyness of a ripe berry! So too, attempting to “pick” one of your desires before it is ripe can lead to disappointing results. Don’t be in such a rush to have your desire ripen. Give it the time it needs to become plump, juicy and sweet. And then truly savor the sweetness of it when the time is right!

2. It takes work to get what you want. Early in the season when the few ripe berries are hidden back deep in the brambles, you have to work to get them. You have to gingerly thread your hand in through the brambles reaching for that one that looks so plump and juicy back there. It is the same with our desires. Attaining them requires work. You need to focus on what you want and be willing to take the time and risk to work you way through the obstacles to get it.

3. Sometimes you’ll get scratched reaching for your desires. Blackberry brambles are quite adept at protecting their sweet prizes. If you’re not careful (and sometimes even when you are) you’ll end up with some scratches on your arms and legs. But (in my opinion) the reward of those sweet juicy berries is well worth it! Somehow the sweetness of that just-plucked blackberry immediately takes away the pain from any scratches you may have gotten. Likewise, when we reach for our desires, there may be some times that we get “scratched.” But if we can hold onto the taste of the sweet, juicy reward in our mind, those scratches will be worth it.

4. Desires have seasons. Right now we’re at the peak of blackberry season. And while that means that there are “best ones” everywhere we look. It also means that we are heading towards the end of the season when there will no longer be any blackberries. Already, with so many ripe berries on the bramble, there are far too many for us to pick. And every day we see more and more shriveled, dry berries that have gone past their prime. The Law of Attraction teaches the importance of continual expansion. When you attain one desire, enjoy it, savor it, celebrate it, but do not get caught in the trap of thinking that the process is over. Do not let yourself become dry and shriveled like those blackberries. When the season is over on one desire, move on to the next one. Enjoy the cycles of expansion.

What lessons have you learned from the blackberry bramble? Share them in the comments below!

Learning to flow with the rhythms of life

Posted on May 24, 2011 by Edward Mills

Today was supposed to be the start of the Awakened Man Summit. But due to a last minute scheduling snafu I don’t have a speaker for tonight.

Since I found out about this a couple of days ago I’ve been somewhat – to very – frantically seeking another speaker to step in at the last minute for tonight’s spot. And none of the folks I’ve contacted have been able to make it.

So last night – LATE – I got the message – loud and clear – to let go and trust.

What a relief it always is when I finally do let go and trust in the wisdom of Life! I could feel the tension release from my body and mind. After all, the worst that would happen is I would schedule the speaker for another date during the summit.

And this morning I found out why Life had different plans for me!

My daughter woke up with a tummy ache and ended up staying home from school. With her home, I haven’t been able to get some of the last-minute pieces in place for a call tonight, and she might not be feeling well enough to hang out with a babysitter later tonight.

What a mess that could have been… being on a live call with one of the speakers with a sick kid hanging out potentially needing my attention. Not sure how fully I would have been able to focus on the interview!

It’s just another reminder that Life is infinitely wiser than me!

Over and over again I’ve had experiences that have confirmed the truth that when I trust in the flow and rhythm of Life everything will work out!

And I must admit that I find it rather amusing (when I’m not kicking myself!) that I still have trouble trusting in the flow of Life. When Life has plans that aren’t exactly in alignment with mine I still feel the urge to push against those plans, trying to mold and shape Life to fit the picture I have in mind.

And how amazing it is that Life continues to have the highest good in mind when it “overrules” my plans!

This is big piece of what I consider to be the new model of manhood. In the old model, men were taught that imposing our will over other people, nature, the Earth and Life itself was the way to express ourselves as men. We were taught that we must be able to bend – and, if possible, break – the will of Life in order to prove ourselves.

Well, that model has definitely not worked. And, to be quite honest, I have a feeling that Life has been laughing herself silly watching us run around thinking that we’re getting her to change her course.

Patience is not one of the strong characteristics in the old model of manhood whereas LIFE has infinite patience.

Now it feels like the tide is turning. Life is ready to gently, and perhaps not-so-gently, remind us that force will never get her to change her course.

The way we get Life to change course is to, quite literally, BECOME LIFE. Men (and to a lesser degree women) haven’t been so good at that. Now is the time for us all to learn this new skill, one that will enable us to work in harmony with the flow and rhythm of life to create the New Earth that is awakening.

Have there been times in your life when Life has “overruled” your plans? How have you flowed with that? Are you able to trust in the wisdom of Life? Have you experienced this merging with Life? How does it feel, how do you know, when you are in union with Life?